


Blurring Realities

by breatheforeverypart



Series: To the Victor Goes the Trauma [4]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: District 13, F/M, Flashbacks, Forced Prostitution, Gen, Hallucinations, I'm sure I'm missing some warnings I apologize, Murder, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Prostitution, please tread carefully, post quarter quell, serious mental health issues, the bombing of district 13, the usual hunger games trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24850615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breatheforeverypart/pseuds/breatheforeverypart
Summary: The bombing of District 13 sends refugees and traumatized Victors alike scrambling down into the depths of the emergency bunker system.Finnick is lost to flashbacks and spends the bombing struggling to connect with an equally panicked Katniss.
Relationships: Annie Cresta & Mags & Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason/Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen/Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Series: To the Victor Goes the Trauma [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776307
Kudos: 35





	Blurring Realities

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! Please tread carefully. If you have read any other works in this series, you are aware that Finnick's state of mind is a dangerous place to visit. Trigger warning for forced rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, suicidal thoughts, attempts, actions, dissociation, flashbacks, trauma, C-PTSD, hallucinations, delusions. All of the warnings.

***

Canons. The canons are firing. Who else is dead? Panic blinds Finnick from reality. The cold walls of the concrete bunker fades away to reveal the Quarter Quell arena. His stomach clenches in terror. Adrenaline pours into his bloodstream, lending validity to the flashback. 

Monkey mutts scream in Annie’s voice. Finnick’s brain bleeds at the sound. He tries to run, but his body bumps against warm vines and trees that seem to radiate heat like human flesh. 

Snow’s laugh explodes from a flock of Jabberjays. Frantically he claws at the flora restraining him. Where was his trident? His nails dig at the threats, but he finds no relief. For every vine he severs, ten more take its’ place. 

“Finnick, listen!” The voice is soft, but firm. 

He can barely hear her. The Jabberjays’ shrieks gnaw at his skull. He can’t save them. Annie is dead. She must be dead. Why wasn’t he dead? 

“Listen, I need you. Katniss needs your help.” 

The Girl on Fire. Yes. He promised Haymitch to keep her alive at any cost. Mags had died. A sob wracked his body. He couldn’t move his hands; the jungle was going to strangle him. Vines tightened around his torso, pinning his arms to his sides. He couldn’t fight like this. Couldn’t protect Katniss. 

The voice startled him. “That’s good Finnick. Can you help me? I’ll take you to her, to Katniss.” 

He willed his limbs stop fighting. Except for the occasional twitch, Finnick managed to quiet his muscles. Gradually the plants in green-grey uniforms loosen their grip on his body. He can breathe, he can walk. 

The pale face of a young woman swims into his vision. The girl with the name of a flower. He almost collapses in relief. She knew him. She could help him save The Girl on Fire. 

“That’s good.” Prim praises him. She often sat with him at meals in his hospital room. She kindly coaxed bites of grain and applesauce into him as Finnick tied his knots. Her patience calmed him, even in the darkest moments of his waking nightmares. 

“Katniss.” He rasps. Finnick reaches for Prim and instantly has a vine wrapped around his throat. Men pin him to their bodies. Panic builds, the plants slithering up his body like snakes. 

Words buzz around him like insects and the warm vines recede. Prim’s face is barely visible through his tears. Finnick’s legs buckle, his knees crashing against the concrete. 

The pale girl cradles his face in her hands. “Finnick.” She wipes her thumb across his cheek. “You are okay.” A muffled explosion loosens bits of plaster and dust rains down. 

“Katniss?” He manages, his eyes wide with confusion. His concern for The Girl on Fire steadies him, the emotion focusing his mind like a compass finding north. 

“Prim.” She corrects, misunderstanding his question. Prim’s voice called to him, comforting and familiar. “Let’s go to Katniss. There you go. Easy.” The girl encouraged him, patient as his legs wobbled under the weight of his bewilderment. 

***

Finnick sits on the floor, legs crossed. The Girl on Fire rocks herself as the bombs fall. Her body touches his knee when she pitches forward. The girl with the pale face is from the hospital he reminds himself. Prim led him to Katniss. 

“You’re safe Katniss, you’re okay. Look. You’re here with me and Mom and Finnick.” Her sister. Katniss’ family is alive. She slips in and out of her mind. Finnick watches her drift, re-living her own nightmares. 

Salty tears sting the cut on his cheek. Finnick’s hands make knots. He cannot hold on to reality or secrets, but he holds the rope. The rope makes sense. So, he ties knot after knot after knot. 

He drifts. The bunker groans. The pale girl with blonde hair pulls a thin blanket around his shoulders. The Girl on Fire swims into fuzzy view. 

“Do you think they’re dead?” She asks quietly, her voice raw from screaming. She hugs her knees to her chest while her body trembles. 

“I wish.” Finnick begins, his hands fumbling with the rope. “I want them to be dead. Dead is better.” 

Katniss nods. “He’s using them, to torture us.” 

“The games continue.” Another bomb explodes, extending the cracks along the ceiling. Her words register and Finnick catches the moment of awareness. “After you won, I should have warned you. He takes what you love.” 

“Warned me about what?” Katniss’ voice is loud. “What do you mean?” Even with the explosions her voice shrieks like the Jabberjays. Finnick covers his ears. Another explosion and more birds join her chorus of screams. 

Reality releases him. Finnick drifts again, his body rocked by the memory of his ocean in District 4. Swimming with Mags. Her left side had been weaker after the stroke, but she was able to float thanks to the saltwater. She smiles at him, floating on her back. Her grey hair fanning out from her head, a crown of old age. The ultimate prize for a Victor. 

“Finn.” Something tickled the back of his hand. Slowly he released his ears. “Can you teach me?” Katniss was real. The claustrophobic bunker was real. The regular explosions threatening their lives. 

The arena disappears, leaving Finnick with a disappointing view of the emergency bunker of District 13. 

The rope falls into his open palm. He lifts his head to find Katniss looking at him expectantly. “I’ll trade you. You teach me knots and I’ll take you outside to hunt.” 

Finnick finds himself nodding. Shakily, his hands knot the rope. Katniss watches, her own mind drifting as he works the rope. 

He is unaware how much time passes before she masters the basic technique. Katniss brushes his arm and smirks at the timber hitch she managed to tie around the skinny flashlight. “Simple. Thanks, Odair.” 

He flinches at the contact. It burned like the fog that claimed Mags. Still, he craved the touch. Annie. Jo. Mags. He ached to hold them. The Girl on Fire curls against her sister, Prim. The siblings and mother form a tight knot of family in the small cot. 

Johanna had held him like that during the Games last year. Usually time teased him, but the memory of that night stood out in sharp contrast to the rest of his history. 

***

Someone pounded at the door. 

“Open.” Finnick slurred through a mouthful of bloody saliva. 

“No, it’s fucking not.” Johanna growled. 

“Open.” He repeated. Finnick tried to estimate the distance between his current position and the door, but the floor kept spinning out of focus. 

“Odair. I swear.” Johanna snarled as she forced her way into the suite. That girl was a force to be reckoned with, although Finnick knew how she hid her true self from the Capitol and nearly all the other Victors. She could be brash and too honest for her own safety. Not that she gave a shit. 

The lights temporarily blinded him and he squinted. He was hauled by a pair of strong arms towards the bathroom. 

She propped him against the wall in front of the toilet. Fiddling with the settings of the shower, Johanna cursed in frustration. 

“Jo.” A clot dropped from his open mouth, into his lap. The warm mass spurred the younger Victor to action. 

Grabbing him by the back of his neck, she steered his upper half over the bowl of the toilet. “Stay here.” She demanded. Her footsteps receded, dragging the last of Finnick's dignity with her. 

“Not going anywhere.” Finnick thought, heaving another stomach full of whatever the last client had forced down his throat. 

***

Bodies jostled him and Finnick lifted his head. The stairs seemed to go on forever. People chatted amicably as they moved as a herd away from the system of bunkers. 

A warm hand slipped into his, firmly pulling him to the next landing. “Come on.” 

The Girl on Fire led him to an elevator, a tall man with dark skin nodded to him and pressed a series of buttons. 

His eyes darted around the enclosed space, confusion and fear dominating his features. 

Katniss stood in front of him, attempting to block his immediate line of sight. “We’re going outside. I promised, remember?” 

Remember. Finnick almost laughed, he had not held onto an entire day’s worth of events in who knows how long. He had the bracelet to prove it. Finnick lifted his wrist towards the soldier, who looked quizzically at Katniss. 

“We’re allowed. Boggs is our…” She struggled for the right word. 

“Babysitter.” Finnick supplied. 

The corners of Katniss’ lips pulled into the hint of a smile. “Yeah. We’re crazy you know.” 

“Yeah.” Finnick repeated. 

The elevator stopped, doors opening to reveal a short hallway with bright natural light waiting at the end. 

“Finnick.” Katniss tapped his back. “Pants?” 

“Oh.” His hands clutched the rope to his chest, embarrassment heating his cheeks. 

Wordlessly Boggs handed him a pair of District 13 issued trousers and long-sleeve shirt. He then resumed his sentry-like stance alongside The Girl on Fire. 

Katniss stuffed the paper-thin gown into her game bag. “Ready for the woods?” 

“As long as there are no mutts.” Finnick answered, unsure of how to make his feet move. 

“Only deer and turkeys.” Boggs drew a small knife from the inside of his boot. “I bet you can do wonders with this.” 

Finnick felt his shoulders fall back into place. With a weapon in hand, he felt useful. Safe. As Jo would say, how fucked was that? 

“Daylight’s burning.” Katniss said. After a moment, she reached for his hand. 

Tucking the rope into his pocket, Finnick squeezed her hand and allowed himself to be led down the hall. 

Boggs maintained a respectful distance as they emerged into the rubble laced meadow above District 13. 

“Real?” Finnick squinted in the cloudless sky. Smoldering debris contrasted with the brilliant sky. Freedom was messy, but it existed outside of the Capitol. 

A mild breeze teased pieces of hair from her braid. “Real.” Katniss confirmed. She tightened her grip on his hand, as they picked their way towards the woods.


End file.
